It was the summer of 2022, and I found myself at a crossroads, living in a friend’s house in Hyde Park, Massachusetts. I yearned for change, craving a new destination after a Quarter of a Century in Boston. Determined to take control of my destiny, I made a bold decision in August. Without waiting for anyone else to join me, I packed my belongings into three duffle bags and a shoulder bag. Homeless and without a car after a recent loss, I saw this as a blessing – a chance to start anew without the weight of leases or obligations. With just my faith guiding me, my brother and cousin drove me to the AMTRAK station, where I embarked on a journey to Virginia, alone but filled with hope.

Since leaving Massachusetts, despite the setbacks, I harbor no regrets. Every experience has been a lesson, affirming that I made the best decision for myself.

In this guide, we’ll delve into strategies to break free from negative self-talk, overcome excuses, and cultivate a momentum mindset that propels you towards success and fulfillment.

1. Fighting Through Negative Self-Talk

The journey to success begins with silencing the inner critic. If you are like me then sometimes the inner critic can distract you from the mission at hand. Learning how to challenge and reframe negative thoughts, replacing self-doubt with self-belief will help you conquer life’s hurdles. Remember, you are worthy, capable, and deserving of all the success that comes your way.

2. Making Excuses a Thing of the Past

Excuses are roadblocks disguised as reasons. Discover how to recognize and dismantle the excuses holding you back, paving the way for progress and growth. Remember, “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” ? I usually say Excuses that have Should, Would, or Could in them usually don’t end up happening. Embrace accountability and take ownership of your actions – the power to change lies within you.

3. Distinguishing Facts from Feelings

In the heat of the moment, emotions can cloud our judgment, making it challenging to distinguish between facts and feelings. It’s crucial to learn how to separate the two, ensuring that decisions are grounded in logic and reason rather than fear or uncertainty. While I recognize the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions, I’ve developed a strategy to prevent them from overpowering rational thinking..

For me, I embrace the heat of the moment and allow my emotions to have “the moment” but that’s all they get. And that can consist of, Writing in the notes app or in a notebook for my ladies who love pen and paper form of writing. Another way I allow my emotions to express themselves is by listening to mood music or a special playlist. I have “Mood Playlists” by color on Apple Music that I have made and are public, that I can link below if you ladies If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share and if you have any suggestions feel free to add them.

When experiencing these emotional waves, I set an intention and choose a playlist to accompany my introspection. I prefer to shuffle the songs, as it feels more organic and aligns with my emotional state. After allowing myself this designated time – typically lasting anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour – I consciously transition back to logical thinking. While I strive to avoid letting these moments consume my entire day, I also extend grace to myself, acknowledging that tomorrow is a new opportunity to tackle challenges with a clear mind.

This approach has proven effective for me, allowing me to honor my emotions while maintaining a balanced perspective grounded in logic and reason.

4. Building a Support Network

Strength lies in community, for as the saying goes, “It takes a village.” Seek out the companionship of a trusted ally who resonates with your aspirations and principles. Whether it be a friend, mentor, or coach, having someone who aligns with your vision can offer invaluable support, guidance, and insight. Surrounding yourself with individuals of this caliber is undeniably influential on the path to success.

5. Cultivating a Momentum Mindset

Success is not a destination but a journey. Cultivate a momentum mindset that propels you forward, even in the face of adversity. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, fueling your determination to keep pushing forward.

6. Embracing Failure as Feedback

Failure does not signify defeat but rather serves as a stepping stone towards success. It’s essential to reframe your perspective and perceive failures as valuable feedback and opportunities for growth. I often advocate for seeing the cup as half full rather than half empty. From setbacks, obtain lessons, adapt your strategies, and move forward armed with newfound wisdom and resilience.

7. Embracing Limitlessness

Bid farewell to self-limiting beliefs and wholeheartedly embrace the empowering mantra, “I can and I will.” Reject the shackles of fear and doubt, for you possess the capability to accomplish anything you set your mind to. The aim is to transcend limitations and realize your boundless potential. Believe in yourself without any doubts, my friend, and take those first steps on your journey with unshakable confidence and unwavering conviction. You’ve got this!

8. The Pitfalls of Self-Shaming

Be kind to yourself – you are your own greatest ally. Reject self-shaming and embrace self-compassion, recognizing that you are worthy of love, respect, and acceptance. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend.

9. Conquering Uphill Battles

Every uphill battle is an opportunity to prove your strength and resilience. Embrace the challenge, dig deep, and summon the courage to persevere. Remember, with every step forward, you’re one step closer to achieving your dreams.

In life, there will always be obstacles to overcome and hills to climb. But with the right mindset and strategies, you have the power to conquer any challenge that comes your way. So take a deep breath, summon your courage, and embark on the journey towards success and fulfillment. You’ve got this!